Today, Pastor Terry Jones of Florida tried to burn a Quran in Dearborn, Michigan. Dearborn is home to the most concentrated Arab-American community outside of the Middle East. So, at best, he’s an idiot… at worst, he’s simply insane. To tell you the truth, I could care less that he tried to burn a Quran […]
Gaza…
It was two years ago that Israel was completing its invasion into Gaza. Over 1400 Palestinians were killed, over half of them civilians. In most other parts of the world, anniversaries are something to celebrate. Not in Gaza. Israel finally withdrew, after deciding that further incursions would be politically disastrous. They always seem to know […]
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, & the Palestinians
One of the perils in writing about the Palestine/Israel question is that one can sometimes be misunderstood. There are so many nuances that when one writes in a fashion outside the normal lines of the debate, he might receive the same criticism and praise from all sides. Last week, I wrote a satirical column about […]
My Christmas Gift to Israel
For Palestinians, Christmas is very special. We’re related to Jesus. My family is from Nazareth, and I’m pretty sure they’re direct descendants of some of Mary’s cousins. Wait, that means if you go back far enough, I’m a Jew. Man, that really confuses the anti-Semitic side of me. But I’m adding it to my résumé […]
Oh, Helen, Behave…
Helen, don’t you know that you can’t say the Jews should get the hell out of Palestine? Don’t you know it’s not even called Palestine? Don’t you know that there never was a Palestine? C’mon, Helen… Don’t you know you can’t talk about the extreme bias in American media in favor of Israel? Don’t you […]
An Arab Thanksgiving
As an Arab-American, Thanksgiving is an especially wonderful holiday. I have even more things to be thankful for than the average non-Arab-American. America is the place where my parents came and found a new life after becoming Palestinian refugees. My father was exiled from Palestine at the age of one month, and my mother was […]
White? Arab? Help!
When Aladdin came out, I was a teenager. I thought it was awesome. Finally, Disney made a movie about us. There was Aladdin, our hero, a cute little Arab guy… a fez-wearing, ballad-singing, fair-skinned, bare-chested young man, who jumps around town with an adorable pet monkey. Then there was Jafar, the big bad wicked villain… […]
Obama: Publicly Christian
There are a few things I know about Barack Obama. I know that he was born in Hawaii. I know that his father was Kenyan, and that his mother was white. I know he graduated from Harvard Law School. I think he’s a Christian. I don’t know for sure. I mean, who does really, and […]
The Great Democracy of Israel
Israel attacked (not surrounded, not redirected… attacked) a ship bringing supplies to Gaza, which has been blockaded by Israel for 3 years now. Why did Israel blockade Gaza? Because it was unhappy with the democratic decision of its people to elect Hamas to power. Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East. Israel arrested two […]
A Letter to Rima Fakih
Dear Rima, I’d like to give you my number, but that would be way too forward and Arab of me. So I won’t. Congratulations. We are proud of you. Arab-Americans are very excited about your win. We had viewing parties. We all started calling and texting each other as soon as you won. I was […]
Faisal Can Denounce Himself
Invariably, a crazy Muslim or Arab does something crazy every now and then. We have our share of crazies like everyone else. And just as invariably, Arab-American and Muslim-American organizations rush to “denounce” those crazy acts. This is nothing new for these groups. It has become common practice for these groups to “apologize” every time […]
Why Barack Isn’t Getting My Census Form
On the 2010 Census form, as on almost every other form that asks one to identify his race, there is no box for “Arab-American.” Now, we all know race doesn’t really mean race in any biological or anthropological sense. If it did, there would only be 3 boxes: White, Yellow, and Black. Then, Latinos would […]
Is Israel “Irreplaceable”?
Something funny is happening in Israel. There’s trouble in paradise. Last week, on March 10, CNN ran a front-page story on the death of Rachel Corrie. Rachel was killed seven years ago when an Israeli bulldozer crushed her to death while she was protesting the destruction of Palestinian homes in Gaza. Her parents have finally […]
When A Palestinian Comedian Goes Too Far
Less than a week ago, I was performing at a private party for about 75 Arab-Americans in the suburbs of Detroit. The setting was a restaurant where one half was reserved for this private party while the other half still had regular customers. The side with regular customers was within earshot of my routine. About […]
An Open Letter to Jon Stewart
Jon, I’ve been watching you First, thank you for airing the interview you conducted with Mustafa Barghouti and Anna Baltzer. I’m sure your staff received thousands of letters from Arab-Americans thanking you for airing that piece. I’m also sure you received many letters from viewers chastising you “allowing” such voices on the air. You might […]